ENCYCLOPEDIA OF WESTON COMMUNICATIONS

Good thing I've got this all figured out, huh!!!

Being a mom means I now get to brag about how cute my child is all of the time, right? Because he is really cute. And by really, I mean like so cute he makes me cry when I think about how cute he is.

Actually, I cry at everything now. What the heck???

Here are some of the sad, frustrating, funny, surprising, and semi-interesting things that we have discovered in the past 2 weeks (he really is that old already? Wow...)

-- Weston has back hair. I fear he is part wolf. I knew he would be a manly man -- I mean, he has sideburns too -- but really? Back hair? If this stuff doesn't fall out soon I'm taking him to the spa to get a nice wax job.

-- Weston, as cute as he is, is sometimes a horrible baby. Yes, I said it. I love him, BUT he screams all but about 5 minutes that he is awake, he poos way too much, won't burp after he eats and will only sleep if someone is holding him. I'm hoping these dark circles under my eyes are not permanent. He also refuses to eat like a normal baby. He HATES my boobs. It made me feel like a huge failure as a mother at first, and still does most days, but I guess I'm getting used to the pump...

-- Josh is the most amazing dad! Take that, all you non-believers!!! He hasn't even tried to slip any nyquil in his bottle yet! :) I laugh daily at Josh's fathering skills, and seriously can't imagine a better daddy. Josh takes care of late-night feedings and I am able to get more sleep. Oh that man has a spot in the celestial kingdom just for that!

The day after Weston was born, the nurse asked Josh to change his first diaper. I laughed so hard I probably peed the bed as Josh put on the rubber gloves to handle his son. Josh has figured out which side of the diaper goes in front now, and it only takes him about 30 minutes to change a diaper. It's an improvement.

During one of Weston's late night crying-just-to-annoy-us fits, Josh was holding him and singing 'twinkle twinkle little star' to Weston. Only, he changed the words -- "twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are... you eat all day, you poop all night, your diapers give me quite the fright..." He also hums the circus-theme song on a regular basis, don't ask me why. Where did I find this guy? He is the best ever.

-- Kona is absolutely amazing with Weston! She just wants to sniff him all day long, but has not tried to eat him yet. She has eaten about 8 of his binkies though, which is a huge tragedy as those are our lifeline in the hours Weston is awake.

--um, what is up with my child-bearing hips? I guess, since my feet are now normal-sized (hooray!), at least one of my chins has disappeared and I can lay on my stomach, my body had to give me something to cry about! Waaah the giant hips! Go away!!!

--Who knew it would take so long to take care of a baby every day? I am always surprised when I look at the clock in the morning after I feed him, change his diaper about 8 times, make him listen to michael buble so he will stop crying, and learn that it's actually not morning, but 1 in the afternoon and I haven't showered yet. Oops.

-- Maybe it's the part-wolf, but Weston is seriously very advanced for his age. I'm telling you he smiles -- it's not gas, and it's super cute! (he has dimples!!! ah my life is so great!!!) and he also crawls if you put him on his stomach, true story! Well maybe not so much as a crawl as a slither clear across the changing table, but still, it's amazing.

--do all babies have a turtle-ish neck? It is crazy wrinkly and weird. But I still like it.

-- I love watching Weston right before he wakes up. He starts moving his arms and legs like he is doing the back stroke and will do that for about 20 minutes before he decides it is time to cry for 2 hours.

I alway naively thought I'd be a semi-good mother, and am learning that I am a crappy mom! This is hard! Good thing he has at least one sane parent to hold it together. Hopefully over the next few weeks I'll be able to figure this kid out a little more. but yeah, back to the whole point -- he is really, really, REALLY cute.

Weston Kelly Lund

10.30.09

Yes, it has taken a week to get this blog updated with our BIG news. And by BIG, I mean 8 pounds 10 ounces, 21 1/2 inches big. Weston arrived, to our surprise, last Friday night (10 days early -- still giant!!!) at 7:36 p.m! Who knew I could love anything as much as this guy! So far, Weston has 3 jobs: eat, sleep and mess. The eating and sleeping parts seem to confuse him, but he is messing like a champ -- he may even win a medal.

For those interested in a 'birth story' -- I can sum it up in 3 words: Thank You Epidural. The recovery is going slowly for me, and I pretty much fail at being a mother about 18 hours of the day... BUT we're getting there. And I couldn't imagine it any other way.

HEY YOU GUYS!!!!!!

I don't blame this post on pregnancy as much as I just blame it on being partly crazy, BUT in the last few months, my dreams (all of which are nightmares!!!) have been plagued with horrible images of our child looking like this:

Seriously, what is wrong with me!!!! I even find myself adding to my prayers at night "and please let little baby get his father's looks and not Sloth's..."

I know I should be hoping that he comes out healthy and strong, being able to see, hear, breathe, etc., and I do hope for that -- but I also am petty and worry about really strange things, like:

-- What if he inherits a recessive squidget gene and only grows to be 5'1"? How will he get the ladies, especially if he inherits a recessive baldness gene? Will our son live with us until he is 35?

-- Is he going to come out with old man (the horseshoe) hair like Josh had when he was little?

-- What if he gets my butt? That suppleness (josh calls it my latin surprise, kristen calls it the 'muffin butt') might be a little awkward on a dude.

--What if he is as dumb as bricks? I will blame that on Josh? Again, will he live with us until he is 35?

--Or what if he is smarter than me by the 3rd grade? What good will I be to him then?

--If he inherits Josh's long "islander" toes, and my long fingers, will learning how to crawl and walk be a real challenge?

--What if he is no good at sports? Josh may disown him!!! Seriously, we are counting on him to be a lefty so we can ride the gravy train!!!
--Is he going to inherit my craziness? Because there's too much of that in our house already.

AND besides the baby and his gene pool, I also worry about my mothering skills:

--What if i am holding him and walking up the stairs and accidentally trip (it happens quite often) and fall on him and squish him and his eyes pop out? Seriously, I think that!!!

-- Will Kona think he is a chew toy and chew off his feet while I am sleeping?

-- What if I bring him to work one day and then forget him and leave him there all night? I have done that to my phone, and I really, REALLY can't live without my phone...

--What if my looks scare him and he cries everytime I hold him? It's happened with many children in the past, no lie!!!

Most days I really think -- whoah, what have i done to myself... This whole mom thing is going to be rough!!

But as long as he really doesn't come out looking like Sloth, I probably should be counting my blessings!!!!

My Guinness Book of World Records Entry:

Yes, I am quite possibly the world's largest pregnant woman alive. No, we are sure it's not twins. He may have had a twin at one point, which he swallowed, and is now a giant toddler growing inside of me. He may or may not have a full set of teeth and chest hair when (if) he comes out.

Besides the normal reasons of being excited to have a baby -- can't wait to cuddle him, smell his baby-ness, fall absolutely in love with him in every way possible, and more ooey gooey mush, I have a few personal and selfish agendas to having this baby OUT. They are as follows:

-- I can't wait to only have one chin. Actually, I'd settle for two chins. But this five chin thing (I may have 6 by next week) has GOT to stop. It's embarrassing.

-- Sausages for toes and cankles are OUT this season -- it's time I had some normal size feet that can fit into heels.

-- Not that I ever really enjoyed painting my own toenails (that's what little sisters are for!) I can't wait to reach them with ease, without grunting.

-- I am a stomach and a back sleeper. How I miss that dreadfully. And even if I'm actually missing out on the whole sleep part, I really can't wait to at least lie on my stomach for a full 10 minutes.

-- Pants with zippers and button flies. Need I say more.

-- I can't wait to JUMP again. A few months ago I attempted an 'agile' move from a boat to the dock... it did not go so well. Somehow my body didn't go up in the air as planned -- it was more of a trip over the side of the boat into the water. I think when he is out I will call on my childhood roots and attempt to get from one room in the house to the other without touching the floor and only jumping from one piece of furniture to the next (I know you all did it when you were young too, no judging!!!)

-- Oh blessed waistline, I hope you are still there waiting for me somewhere... As well as my belly button.

-- Not that I don't enjoy falling out of my bed every morning on purpose, it will be nice to just sit straight up and daintily/gracefully put my feet over the edge and get out like a normal person. As giant whale-sized as I am, I am surprised I haven't crashed through the floor with my attempted 'acrobats' at escaping the bed. Not to mention the plethora of pillows I surround myself with just to get comfortable!!! I am sure Josh will enjoy having more than 1/10th of the bed as well.

So with that said, I will be holding my breath until Josh Jr. comes out. I wish it would be tonight.

Welcome Football Season!!!

As I absolutely HAD to have a steak tonight (it's true, it was not a want, it was a NEEEEEED) we decided we could go out to eat to celebrate the start of football season! Ah, who can think of a better way to spend a Saturday than screaming profanities at our television!!!

And now, as Josh watches the Utah game, I get to spend my time editing photos from my favorite shoot so far:

Sara and Brady should have a million kids if they all look like him. He is too cute.

An Update As Promised...

Prepare for a longie... I'm so sorry for those who endure this whole thing!!! I've let most of the summer waste away without letting anyone know about my fun adventures. Oops. So... illustrated by lovely pictures, here is what I've been up to over mostly the last month...

Jaylene and Steve came in from Ohio! This was the hi-light of my summer for sure. Most of us sisters (Minus Ev, sorry Ev!) were able to go with my grandparents on a drive up to Bear Lake to get a raspberry shake and then a hike around Tony Grove Lake. It was SOOOO much fun -- and ended in the funniest muddy adventure that made me almost pee my pants. Really, I was terrifyingly close...

This is me 2 weeks ago at 28 weeks -- I am much more giant now. Giant like a house. Or an elephant. I get asked all of the time -- when are you due, tomorrow? Sadly, I shake my head and say I have two months left. And then watch as eyes pop out of their heads. My baby probably will weigh 20 pounds when he comes out. Sad.

In July Grandpa Pete had his 80th birthday! We love and enjoy this man so so much -- if you're ever looking for entertaining UFO stories, he's the guy! I don't know what Josh and G-Pa were looking at, but it clearly was more interesting than whoever took the picture...

Summer means spending time with my fabulous sisters! I love these girls so much -- I've had several opportunities to go out and party with these clowns -- this pic is from our adventurous mini golf experience and YES i got a hole in one for reals. I am that good. Ev and Erica did not. They are terrible :)

Ev and I fear that we carry our babies in our new double chins. This is our way of concealing them.

I've also had many more adventures -- involving baby's first time out on a boat -- he really liked it. I liked it up until the point where I tried to jump off of the boat onto the dock and realize I have no grace, nor vertical jump anymore. I tripped and fell into the water. It was awkward.

Another key awkward moment -- ward temple night, which involved a 10 minute wardrobe malfunction -- and I was on the front row for everyone to see and enjoy... The cute temple worker that helped me came up afterward and asked -- "so is this your LAST TIME coming to the temple until after your baby is born?" Yes, that's right. I believe i am kicked out of the temple until November.

So many of my friends are having babies right around me! I am sad I did not post a picture of the fun baby showers I've been lucky to go to -- it has been so much fun to share stories with my preggo friends. Oh they're so cute.

I also DID go to the BE County Fair on Saturday night. I tried to conceal myself from spotting anyone I knew -- and for the most part succeeded. I had a good time playing with Brooke, Sara and Jill's cute kids.

This summer I've also had the opportunity to take many photos of beautiful people! Too bad I am keeping those secret and you don't get to see until they make their debut on my upcoming photography blog. But I have to make baby's quilt and other bedding first before I'm allowed to create that whole thing... Which brings me to the next part -- pics of baby's nursery coming soon! We did get it all painted (minus touching up the chair rail) and the crib and changing table are up! It's going to be so cute!!!

That's my summer in a nutshell. Josh is allowing me to put up fall decorations after labor day!!! He made me wait until October last year so I am happy.