Dear Future Girlfriends

DEAR  PARENTS OF [WESTON'S FUTURE GIRLFRIEND(S)]:

I hereby Solemnly Swear to teach my son to keep his tongue in his mouth before he is of dating age. 

Anyone else out there with waggly-tongued toddlers?

I know everyone has missed me dreadfully, and honestly I have MISSED blogging. This is what I have been doing instead:

*I did in fact run my 1/2 marathon on October 15th (2011 -- how embarrassed am I that I did not put that down?) I beat my goal by 19 minutes!!! Wahoo! It was the hardest thing I have ever done.... Yet, I have signed up to do another one on March 31st. What is wrong with me? Training in the winter sucks. I thought I couldn't get much worse-looking than when I run, since my face turns bright red.  But that was before I started running in the cold. Frozen snot, frozen sweat, and still red-faced. Children run and hide when they see me coming. 

*Weston turned 13. Wait, is that right? It's so hard to keep track of these days.

*Then we had Thanksgiving, Christmas, and 'winter' blah's. Ice cream is the only thing that gets me through.

*My newest nephew, Liam was born on January 29th. I died from his cuteness. It took me a week of eating ice cream to recover. Also, he has already spoken his first words (I know, at only a week old, he is advanced!) They were "Becca is my favorite". Common first phrase among newborns, I know.

*Really, I don't eat that much ice cream. I wish I did, though. 

Coming Soon to a Party Near You:

....as long as he can get over this nasty hand, foot & mouth.  Poor lil' guy.  (has anyone else's kids had that?  It's awful!  any advice????)

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I made it 13.1 miles!  I did it!  Faster than I expected, but I still know I can do better the next time.  My knee hurt, but it held out, thanks to some help I had (from above).  

Wish Me LUCK!!!!

.

My half marathon is on Saturday.

I am so nervous that I have recurring dreams that I'm running in the race, and 4 miles in, I realize I forgot to put my shoes on, and then I also realize I forgot to wear a shirt...

I have also developed a bad case of 'runner's knee'.  I blame it on the crazy roller coasters at Knott's Berry Farm.  (we had soooo much fun on vacation last week! I  may even post about it in a year and a half.)  So now, I may or may not cross the finish line crawling.  But I'm going to finish.  Unless I really do forget to wear a shirt.  

Blame it on the....

Remember my 30 Before 30 list?  I am writing to tell you that I've done nothing on that list. 

But.  I am working on that.  My wonderful neighbor and friend, Whitney* (check out her running blog here) has pressured, no, threatened, I mean CONVINCED me to run a 1/2 marathon in October.  As in 13 miles.  As in 12 1/2 miles more than I can run. This can only mean one thing.

I have lost my mind in my old age. 

I will tell you a story about the one time I tried to run a 5K and I wore bad shoes and I got a bleeding blister and lost 8 pints of blood, and lost the race to the following individuals: 1. My 80 year old husband with a bum knee (he was waiting on knee surgery at the time)  2.  My 52 year old mother in law (but to her credit she is always fit) 3. Our friend Kam, who happened to be pushing his 5-year-old twins in a stroller.  I think I finished in something like 42 minutes.  Please don't judge.

I hung my head in shame for 5 years.

So, now, in an effort to prove that I really am not old enough to enter the alzheimers rest home down the street from my house, I am setting out to finish this thing.  Josh even let me get new running shoes (since I was still wearing ones that had been destroyed by Kona... they had most of the sole left on them!)
Pretty, huh!:

So, as a non runner, I am going to need all of the advice/help/encouragement/threats/bribes from everyone.  What should my diet be like?  I hope I don't run with my butt sticking out.  Or maybe I am supposed to?  If I make my palms flat will I really run faster?  What about music?  If I die during the run will they just kick me over to the curb until the race is over?  See, I don't know anything.  Please help.

*As a side note, I think it's important for you to know that Weston is in love with Whitney's daughter, Katie.  He'll probably ask her to prom next year.

5 YEARS!!!

On May 18, 2006, Josh and I looked like this:



Ah, we were so young, innocent, naive, full of energy, and probably a little bit dumb...

Please note that by the time this picture was taken we had both melted a little bit -- it was 92 degrees the day we got married, which in fact still holds the record for the hottest temp. on this day in Utah...

This was due to the fact that Josh and I are so sizzling.

And then:

24 e.r. visits 

1 college degree

1 new house,

at least 10 gallons of paint

2 new (to me) cars

1 dog (I miss Kona, :( but don't tell!)

3 car accidents

2 beach vacations (really?  that's all?  Now I am sad!!!)

1 cutest-but-most-demanding-child in the world

20 gray hairs (not mine, please I'm still a baby!)

3,400 diapers

and 5 years later....

We look like this.

And that my friends, is what marriage has done to us.

Eyelashes

Reason #15 Weston was supposed to be a girl:

He is ridiculously pretty.  

Is it normal to be jealous of your son's eyelashes?  Because I am.  Insanely jealous.  

And if that's not normal, I'm not even going to admit that I secretly try to teach Weston how to put on mascara, just so I can see what it looks like.

Girly Man

Oops -- was I supposed to post in February?
(I used to think I would be posting great, entertaining things several times a week.  Then I told myself that I had to entertain the world at least once a month.  Then I sat down on the couch and didn't get off for a year.)



My son thinks I'm the bees knees.
He loves to use my makeup brushes and put on headbands and wear my shoes.
He also puts on lotion and hair product and swings his hips when he walks.

Josh does not like.
If Weston gets any more girly, I think Josh will secretly try to give him up for adoption without me knowing.

But I think it's cute.



Waaah.

Who needs tropical vacations when we can have surgery???

We L-O-V-E to spend any extra cash on Josh's 80-year-old broken body.  After all, we have to keep his flawless exterior looking, well... flawless.

So, since Josh has spent his week like this:

Weston has spent his week like this:

Oh, and I've spent my week curled up in the corner in fetal position crying just as much as Weston.  But Josh failed to get a picture of that, seeing as he only has one arm.   Can anyone say mom/wife fail?

Does it make me a bad person that I am reeeeeally looking forward to Weston going to daycare tomorrow?  Does it make me an even worse person that I'm thinking about leaving him there for a few weeks and/or trading him for one of her easier children???

Here's to improvement this week.

{insert new year's title here}

I feel like I will be left out if I don't post about the new year and the hope it brings.  So this is that post.

Except for mine is more exciting because I am posting this:



{my apologies to those who didn't get a Christmas card in the mail.  I still love you all.}


Continuing on...
My weird but totally adorable husband has never believed in New Year's Resolutions.  So for a while, I gave up on having my own because he refused to encourage me. (I think he was just afraid I'd accomplish mine and he wouldn't... so competitive!!!) But for some reason this year I'm trying to get off my lazy butt and do something noteworthy remain hopeful and optimistic about my future.
So... how am I going to do this?  My friend Tasha inspired me to make my very own 30 before 30 list.  Because, let's face it, I am turning old this year.  Sob.  And the worst part is, I've only done 2 of these things.  I'll keep updating this post as the months go on -- and see how much I can get done this year!

My Very Own 30 Before 30

(p.s. these are not in any order of importance.)

(p.p.s. don't judge on any of these -- encouragement is appreciated! :)

1.  Grow my hair out long

2.  Own a bicycle
3.  Go surfing
4.  Complete my Bachelor's Degree
5.  Help Josh find a new job
6.  Meet the Governor
7.  Start/ work on my family history
8.  Finish my basement
9.  Become debt free
10.  Don't eat sugar for an entire month
11.  Swim with dolphins
12.  Complete a 1/2 marathon
13.  Learn how to knit and/or crochet
14.  Travel to Hawaii
15.  Wear a fancy dress to a fancy party
16.  Go white-water rafting
17.  Sell a photograph
18.  Get a new stamp in my passport
19.  Take a yoga class
20.  Attend a temple session in a temple outstide of Utah
21.  Visit Jaylene in Georgia
22.  Go to Disneyworld!
23.  Play a round (18 holes) of golf
24.  Sew curtains for my house
25.  Record a song in a studio
26.  Win a contest (I don't even care what it is!)
27.  Take Josh to Washington D.C. and New York City
28.  Go skydiving
29.  Join a real choir
30.  Become a better cook and healthier eater

Anyone that can help, inspire, encourage me in my goals?  Does anyone have a list of their own?

'Tis The Season

I always have the best intentions to blog more. But then life happens and I don't get it done.  But here I am!  So everyone should be overwhelmingly happy.  It's okay to even do a cheer right now.  I know I just did.  And now I will share some priceless gems of information.  Or useless gems of information -- however you look at it.

--I always know Christmas season is on us when I can turn on the TV to any channel and Elf is on. 

--I also know it's Christmas season because I don't get to watch Elf, I get stuck watching Yogi's First Christmas.  (Anyone that has seen this show -- am I alone in wanting to strangle Cindy Bear and her stupid Mistletoe song?  Gag!!!)

--Our ward split I think about a month ago.  Having to make new friends is giving me anxiety.  Help!!!

--Before the ward split, I was really enjoying my ward calling as "semi-active lady who sits in the back row with a screaming child".  I felt I fit the role perfectly.  Dang split.  Now I've been put in the primary presidency.  What?  Kids?  What am I supposed to do with them?  They have tiny hands and it weirds me out.  Plus they don't think I'm funny, and that's hard on the ego.  Oh Heavenly Father, I hope you know what you're doing, because I certainly don't.

--The rumors from the old ward must have spread that Josh is still mentally challenged because he can still enjoy his calling as "semi-active dude who sits in the back row with a screaming child".  No fair.

--Yeah, see how I mentioned screaming child twice?  Weston hates church.  Actually I think he just hates us in general.  He's all smiles and happy when he goes to daycare, but by the time we get him home, he throws at least 8 tantrums.  Someone tell me this is a phase?  Either that or we have a real diva on our hands.  Great.

--Weston is getting close to walking!  He usually takes a few steps and then forgets the moving-the-feet part and falls on his face.  I think he thinks he is supposed to fly.

--Okay I exaggerated for dramatic effect.  Weston doesn't hate us all the time.  He actually loves us.  Well, he loves Josh.  He loves to clap his hands, get so excited and squeal for "daddy" when Josh walks into the room.  He does say "mama" too, but we just discovered he's actually not referring to me at all.  He says "mama" when he wants food.  Yeah, I see all I am good for. That's also hard on the ego.

--Also among Weston's vocabulary:  "uh-oh", "ball" (his first word), "pa-pa", "good boy", "yeah", "dog", "see ya" (which comes with a really girly hand-wave) and I think "bottle" (ba-ba).  Oh, and the word he does direct at me?  "Go away".  Great, thanks, Weston.  I really am feeling like mom of the year here.

--I made a goal last year (I actually make this goal every year) to run 500 miles.  In 2009, where I was pregnant for 9 months out of the year, I got pretty close to my goal.  This year, I have made it....wait for it.... 19 miles.  Yes, that is all year, not this month.  Now, quit your judging and just help to get me motivated!  I am a lazy disgusting sack of potatoes.

--Does anyone have any ideas for inexpensive Christmas gifts?  Blame it on mom brain but I've got nothing up there.  Please help!!!!

--Speaking of Christmas, I have had the opportunity to be in Lex de Azevedo's Millennium Choral Society for the past several months. I L-O-V-E singing again!  We are putting on a concert for his "Gloria" work on Friday, December 17th and Saturday, December 18th at the Provo Tabernacle.  You should come.  Because if no one shows up, my already shattered ego will be even more destroyed.

And that's all I've got today.  I know, shame on me, I don't even have an adorable picture to go along with the post.  I'm saving the element of surprise for the adorable Christmas cards I just designed and ordered!