Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A good week

I love May.  Mother's day, our anniversary and my birthday all happen in May -- which means I can be selfish and spoiled the entire month. What, doesn't everybody? Moving on. In no particular order, here are pictures from my week and weekend for your enjoyment.

This kid LOVES the swings. Almost as much as he loves the train.

In true "Jack Handey" fashion (have you ever read his deep thoughts? The one about Disneyland?) we failed as parents -- a we got him all excited to ride Trax to feed the ducks (at Gardner Village) only to realize the train was not running on Memorial Day. He cried, and cried. So we took him to a park instead.


Josh is ALWAYS serious -- see? Geez, relax and have fun a little, will ya? 


Josh likes to take out-of-focus pictures of me. This one was the least out-of-focus, and shows off my giant rear end. A win-win in my book.


 My face just looks like that most of the time. It's a hot look this summer.


Also a hot look this summer -- static-cling slide hair.


ah crap, he's turning into the hulk. I hope he doesn't rip his shirt, that thing probably cost me $3.


I love my sister -- despite the embarrassing birthday presents and steamy romance novels she gives me.  I also love her baby belly.

My 9 year old sister is getting married? I don't know how these things happen. Yes, I'll go ahead and take all the credit for her beauty.


Monday, May 21, 2012

6 years!


If Josh and I hadn't already won the award for best couple ever, cutest child ever, America's best fans ever, and even best chicken pillow recipe ever, we'd also be winning an award for most exciting date nights ever. However those people that hand out the awards just won't give us any more! We don't have a place for it in our very full trophy room, anyway.

Friday was our 6th anniversary! Sure, time flies but at the same time, I don't even think I can remember way back to our wedding day. That's asking too much of me in my geriatric old age (especially after tomorrow, which is my 98th birthday. Yes, I guess i do look good for my age) So, since it was our anniversary, we decided to change out of our pajamas and do something extra exciting! Our anniversary started out like this:

Josh should also win awards for picking out the prettiest flower arrangements for me, like all.the.time. But, alas, he has already won too many awards, remember?

That night we went to our yearly romantic dinner to Market Street Grill, because we are fancy like that. And to maintain with the fanciness of the evening, we headed across the street for some battle-to-the-death mini golf. If you didn't know this about Josh and I, we like to wager everything. Like, I bet him ridiculous amounts of money if he can eat a piece of pineapple (his mortal enemy) and he bets me our unborn children that I can't get a hole in one golfing right-handed (I'm a lefty, if you didn't know... it's what makes me cool). Josh plays to win -- and I lost, bad. But once I threw a public tantrum, including kicking my feet and throwing things at other people's heads, he did not make me shave my head. Phew.

So what if we were out of things to do by 9:00? We picked up Weston, went home and I fell asleep by 9:30. I know, you can't handle the romance!!!

Have you ever seen anything cuter than us, besides little baby ducklings???

Note: All of these INCREDIBLE photos were taken with my phone. I know, it's a shame that my self-portrait isn't of better quality. Sniff.

Because of my job, I just so happen to be an expert on divorce. BUT because I'm married to Josh, I also happen to be quite the expert on marriage. Here are just a few things I've learned in the very lengthy 6 years I've been married:

* It is not a vacation unless a beach is involved. Don't even try to go somewhere like Jackson Hole, or Ohio.  No palm trees? No vacation.

* Going on vacation means surgery. So, if Josh wants to spend time lying on the beach, he also has to sacrifice a body part. Good thing he has a lot of extra fingers and toes.

* "cooking dinner" does translate to include a big bowl of cereal.

* Cereal included, I am the world's best chef.

* Winning an argument isn't about "winning". It's about keeping points and holding grudges forever. What, you don't do this? It's totally healthy.

* Really cool people like Josh don't get embarrassed. So don't even try to embarrass him -- or you just will end up embarrassing yourself, and then going home and curling up in a corner, rocking back and forth.

* I have not learned anything else in my 6 years of marriage. That is it. I think I've been sleeping the rest of the time.

 Don't worry, I'll write a book about all of this -- and when I make millions off my sound marriage advice, I'll buy you a car. Probably a convertible, even.