Monday, July 30, 2012

Olympics!

If only my parents would have pushed me to tap into my crazy talent when I was younger, I would have been a star athlete already! Don't believe me? I totally took dance/gymnastics for a few weeks when I was a kid and I OWNED it.  I also owned the feathery puff bangs. And the farmer's tan.



Aw, I was the cutest little girl ever. Sadly, I was turned down for olympic training because of my giant feet. (Yeah, look at those things!!!) And, I was probably already over 4 feet tall. They will have none of that in the Olympics.

Now??? If they had an olympic event that was all about owning the 9 minute mile, I'd be all over that. Sigh.

My only goal as a parent is to foster my son's athletic ability so that I can ride the gravy train. I put it in his birth contract (what, you didn't make your infant sign one in blood when they were born?) that when he is rich he will buy me a vacation home on my own private island.  Being an olympic athlete may be one way to get there.

So far, he's only demonstrated potential at commanding water: (seriously, Sorcerer's Apprentice, anyone?)


I hope they can make this into a sport, so that he can support my lifestyle.

Monday, July 09, 2012

what is wrong with my LEG?



Remember how I "run"? Yeah, I'm still doing that. I'm still love/hating it. 

LOVE:
My running buddy and friend - Whitney. She has seriously changed my life in more ways than just running. I love you, Whitney.

My new Garmin. I sometimes feel like I love it as much as a child. It's so wonderful and has changed my life as well.

Not peeing my pants when I run. It's a blessing that I thank the heavens above each time I finish a run.

My yellow shoelaces. They are good luck.

HATE:
RUNNING IN THE HEAT! It is my personal hell. Children run and hide when they see my salty red face coming.

My toes. And they hate me back. I want them to be friends with running but they aren't. Ever had a nail driven through your toe? That's what it feels like when I run. And I know what that feels like since I once got a nail [and an entire board] stuck in my foot in high school.


On the 4th I did my first ever 10k -- in Riverton. It went along part of the course from the 1/2 I did in March. I really loved it. I loved the distance. But it was hot, and I had just had the flu for 2 days before. Also, I woke up at 6:47. I was supposed to leave to get to the race at 6:45. Whitney is part race car driver and we made it in time, for which I am grateful. Although I was in no means super speedy, I finished 3rd place in my age division! (58:11 -- like a 9:20 pace) Apparently everyone else was slow, too. (Like my boss says -- you don't have to outrun the bear, you just have to run faster than the person behind you.)

And if anyone can tell me what is wrong with my leg, that would be great.


(Actually, don't tell me. I know it is just my cellulite rippling along as I go. Gag.)

Monday, July 02, 2012

A Child's Love


Because a marriage isn't healthy without a little competition, Josh and I continually sometimes vie for Weston's love and affection. I clearly had the lead from the beginning, with the whole child-birth thing, and not to mention the whole supplying-the-food for the first year thing... But then, I don't know what happened. I think Josh bribes Weston while I am asleep or something. Because, it's not even a close race -- Weston LOOOVES his daddy. 




Me? Not so much.

Aw, crap. Mom fail.