Monday, July 30, 2012


If only my parents would have pushed me to tap into my crazy talent when I was younger, I would have been a star athlete already! Don't believe me? I totally took dance/gymnastics for a few weeks when I was a kid and I OWNED it.  I also owned the feathery puff bangs. And the farmer's tan.

Aw, I was the cutest little girl ever. Sadly, I was turned down for olympic training because of my giant feet. (Yeah, look at those things!!!) And, I was probably already over 4 feet tall. They will have none of that in the Olympics.

Now??? If they had an olympic event that was all about owning the 9 minute mile, I'd be all over that. Sigh.

My only goal as a parent is to foster my son's athletic ability so that I can ride the gravy train. I put it in his birth contract (what, you didn't make your infant sign one in blood when they were born?) that when he is rich he will buy me a vacation home on my own private island.  Being an olympic athlete may be one way to get there.

So far, he's only demonstrated potential at commanding water: (seriously, Sorcerer's Apprentice, anyone?)

I hope they can make this into a sport, so that he can support my lifestyle.


Anonymous said...

He's getting so big! And is as adorable as ever.

Whitney said...

His ribs are showing! Obviously you are starving him. He better come to my house and eat all of the candy and cookies that I have. So that I won't.