Blame it on the....

Remember my 30 Before 30 list?  I am writing to tell you that I've done nothing on that list. 

But.  I am working on that.  My wonderful neighbor and friend, Whitney* (check out her running blog here) has pressured, no, threatened, I mean CONVINCED me to run a 1/2 marathon in October.  As in 13 miles.  As in 12 1/2 miles more than I can run. This can only mean one thing.

I have lost my mind in my old age. 

I will tell you a story about the one time I tried to run a 5K and I wore bad shoes and I got a bleeding blister and lost 8 pints of blood, and lost the race to the following individuals: 1. My 80 year old husband with a bum knee (he was waiting on knee surgery at the time)  2.  My 52 year old mother in law (but to her credit she is always fit) 3. Our friend Kam, who happened to be pushing his 5-year-old twins in a stroller.  I think I finished in something like 42 minutes.  Please don't judge.

I hung my head in shame for 5 years.

So, now, in an effort to prove that I really am not old enough to enter the alzheimers rest home down the street from my house, I am setting out to finish this thing.  Josh even let me get new running shoes (since I was still wearing ones that had been destroyed by Kona... they had most of the sole left on them!)
Pretty, huh!:

So, as a non runner, I am going to need all of the advice/help/encouragement/threats/bribes from everyone.  What should my diet be like?  I hope I don't run with my butt sticking out.  Or maybe I am supposed to?  If I make my palms flat will I really run faster?  What about music?  If I die during the run will they just kick me over to the curb until the race is over?  See, I don't know anything.  Please help.

*As a side note, I think it's important for you to know that Weston is in love with Whitney's daughter, Katie.  He'll probably ask her to prom next year.

5 YEARS!!!

On May 18, 2006, Josh and I looked like this:



Ah, we were so young, innocent, naive, full of energy, and probably a little bit dumb...

Please note that by the time this picture was taken we had both melted a little bit -- it was 92 degrees the day we got married, which in fact still holds the record for the hottest temp. on this day in Utah...

This was due to the fact that Josh and I are so sizzling.

And then:

24 e.r. visits 

1 college degree

1 new house,

at least 10 gallons of paint

2 new (to me) cars

1 dog (I miss Kona, :( but don't tell!)

3 car accidents

2 beach vacations (really?  that's all?  Now I am sad!!!)

1 cutest-but-most-demanding-child in the world

20 gray hairs (not mine, please I'm still a baby!)

3,400 diapers

and 5 years later....

We look like this.

And that my friends, is what marriage has done to us.

Eyelashes

Reason #15 Weston was supposed to be a girl:

He is ridiculously pretty.  

Is it normal to be jealous of your son's eyelashes?  Because I am.  Insanely jealous.  

And if that's not normal, I'm not even going to admit that I secretly try to teach Weston how to put on mascara, just so I can see what it looks like.

Girly Man

Oops -- was I supposed to post in February?
(I used to think I would be posting great, entertaining things several times a week.  Then I told myself that I had to entertain the world at least once a month.  Then I sat down on the couch and didn't get off for a year.)



My son thinks I'm the bees knees.
He loves to use my makeup brushes and put on headbands and wear my shoes.
He also puts on lotion and hair product and swings his hips when he walks.

Josh does not like.
If Weston gets any more girly, I think Josh will secretly try to give him up for adoption without me knowing.

But I think it's cute.



Waaah.

Who needs tropical vacations when we can have surgery???

We L-O-V-E to spend any extra cash on Josh's 80-year-old broken body.  After all, we have to keep his flawless exterior looking, well... flawless.

So, since Josh has spent his week like this:

Weston has spent his week like this:

Oh, and I've spent my week curled up in the corner in fetal position crying just as much as Weston.  But Josh failed to get a picture of that, seeing as he only has one arm.   Can anyone say mom/wife fail?

Does it make me a bad person that I am reeeeeally looking forward to Weston going to daycare tomorrow?  Does it make me an even worse person that I'm thinking about leaving him there for a few weeks and/or trading him for one of her easier children???

Here's to improvement this week.

{insert new year's title here}

I feel like I will be left out if I don't post about the new year and the hope it brings.  So this is that post.

Except for mine is more exciting because I am posting this:



{my apologies to those who didn't get a Christmas card in the mail.  I still love you all.}


Continuing on...
My weird but totally adorable husband has never believed in New Year's Resolutions.  So for a while, I gave up on having my own because he refused to encourage me. (I think he was just afraid I'd accomplish mine and he wouldn't... so competitive!!!) But for some reason this year I'm trying to get off my lazy butt and do something noteworthy remain hopeful and optimistic about my future.
So... how am I going to do this?  My friend Tasha inspired me to make my very own 30 before 30 list.  Because, let's face it, I am turning old this year.  Sob.  And the worst part is, I've only done 2 of these things.  I'll keep updating this post as the months go on -- and see how much I can get done this year!

My Very Own 30 Before 30

(p.s. these are not in any order of importance.)

(p.p.s. don't judge on any of these -- encouragement is appreciated! :)

1.  Grow my hair out long

2.  Own a bicycle
3.  Go surfing
4.  Complete my Bachelor's Degree
5.  Help Josh find a new job
6.  Meet the Governor
7.  Start/ work on my family history
8.  Finish my basement
9.  Become debt free
10.  Don't eat sugar for an entire month
11.  Swim with dolphins
12.  Complete a 1/2 marathon
13.  Learn how to knit and/or crochet
14.  Travel to Hawaii
15.  Wear a fancy dress to a fancy party
16.  Go white-water rafting
17.  Sell a photograph
18.  Get a new stamp in my passport
19.  Take a yoga class
20.  Attend a temple session in a temple outstide of Utah
21.  Visit Jaylene in Georgia
22.  Go to Disneyworld!
23.  Play a round (18 holes) of golf
24.  Sew curtains for my house
25.  Record a song in a studio
26.  Win a contest (I don't even care what it is!)
27.  Take Josh to Washington D.C. and New York City
28.  Go skydiving
29.  Join a real choir
30.  Become a better cook and healthier eater

Anyone that can help, inspire, encourage me in my goals?  Does anyone have a list of their own?

'Tis The Season

I always have the best intentions to blog more. But then life happens and I don't get it done.  But here I am!  So everyone should be overwhelmingly happy.  It's okay to even do a cheer right now.  I know I just did.  And now I will share some priceless gems of information.  Or useless gems of information -- however you look at it.

--I always know Christmas season is on us when I can turn on the TV to any channel and Elf is on. 

--I also know it's Christmas season because I don't get to watch Elf, I get stuck watching Yogi's First Christmas.  (Anyone that has seen this show -- am I alone in wanting to strangle Cindy Bear and her stupid Mistletoe song?  Gag!!!)

--Our ward split I think about a month ago.  Having to make new friends is giving me anxiety.  Help!!!

--Before the ward split, I was really enjoying my ward calling as "semi-active lady who sits in the back row with a screaming child".  I felt I fit the role perfectly.  Dang split.  Now I've been put in the primary presidency.  What?  Kids?  What am I supposed to do with them?  They have tiny hands and it weirds me out.  Plus they don't think I'm funny, and that's hard on the ego.  Oh Heavenly Father, I hope you know what you're doing, because I certainly don't.

--The rumors from the old ward must have spread that Josh is still mentally challenged because he can still enjoy his calling as "semi-active dude who sits in the back row with a screaming child".  No fair.

--Yeah, see how I mentioned screaming child twice?  Weston hates church.  Actually I think he just hates us in general.  He's all smiles and happy when he goes to daycare, but by the time we get him home, he throws at least 8 tantrums.  Someone tell me this is a phase?  Either that or we have a real diva on our hands.  Great.

--Weston is getting close to walking!  He usually takes a few steps and then forgets the moving-the-feet part and falls on his face.  I think he thinks he is supposed to fly.

--Okay I exaggerated for dramatic effect.  Weston doesn't hate us all the time.  He actually loves us.  Well, he loves Josh.  He loves to clap his hands, get so excited and squeal for "daddy" when Josh walks into the room.  He does say "mama" too, but we just discovered he's actually not referring to me at all.  He says "mama" when he wants food.  Yeah, I see all I am good for. That's also hard on the ego.

--Also among Weston's vocabulary:  "uh-oh", "ball" (his first word), "pa-pa", "good boy", "yeah", "dog", "see ya" (which comes with a really girly hand-wave) and I think "bottle" (ba-ba).  Oh, and the word he does direct at me?  "Go away".  Great, thanks, Weston.  I really am feeling like mom of the year here.

--I made a goal last year (I actually make this goal every year) to run 500 miles.  In 2009, where I was pregnant for 9 months out of the year, I got pretty close to my goal.  This year, I have made it....wait for it.... 19 miles.  Yes, that is all year, not this month.  Now, quit your judging and just help to get me motivated!  I am a lazy disgusting sack of potatoes.

--Does anyone have any ideas for inexpensive Christmas gifts?  Blame it on mom brain but I've got nothing up there.  Please help!!!!

--Speaking of Christmas, I have had the opportunity to be in Lex de Azevedo's Millennium Choral Society for the past several months. I L-O-V-E singing again!  We are putting on a concert for his "Gloria" work on Friday, December 17th and Saturday, December 18th at the Provo Tabernacle.  You should come.  Because if no one shows up, my already shattered ego will be even more destroyed.

And that's all I've got today.  I know, shame on me, I don't even have an adorable picture to go along with the post.  I'm saving the element of surprise for the adorable Christmas cards I just designed and ordered! 

Time Flies...

I have officially been the worst mother for over a year!  I can't decide if this is worthy of a plaque or a trophy...

It's true, Weston is ONE!!!!  I dont' know how this happened.  I refuse to acknowledge that he is getting older.  So I am going to force him into his newborn clothes for at least a month until the truth sinks in. (it's by doing things like this that I become the worst mother of the year.  Not that I'm trying to give away my secrets...)

In reality, Weston can't even squeeze into 18 month old clothing.  It must be all that protein powder we've been feeding him.  (crappy mommy secret #26)

On the morning of his birthday, he woke up and asked for the keys to the car.  Next week he'll probably be bringing some girl home, and we all know there's not much time left until he's having kids of his own.  Sniff.  My little baby, all grown up!

Many thanks to all of those who attended his awesome Halloween Birthday party on his birthday!  We thought "time flies" was the perfect theme.  Plus, since I have never finished decorating his airplane nursery (crappy mommy secret #9) it was fun to put all of those cute ideas to life. 

(go ahead and comment on how ridiculously cute his invites are.  I like to pat myself on the back when things turn out right -- it doesn't happen that often for me!!!)

                    

My fun, talented, AMAZING friend, Tasha, did all the planning, organizing, decorating and set-up while I sat back and had an anxiety attack over frosting the cupcakes.  Check out Tasha's fun blog here:

DIY-ing to be Domestic

Because Tasha is sooo amazing, Weston's awesome airplane party was featured on Catch My Party!  Click on that to see all of the details from his big day. 

Seriously, folks, isn't she amazing?  I truly am blessed to have such wonderful friends/adoring fans of my son. Either that, or Josh has been threatening a lot of people.  Hard to say.

Josh's sister, Katie, was in town from DC.  She was nice enough to make Weston's cute birthday cake!  We all know I don't have that kind of talent.  Thanks, Katie!  Josh's auntie was also in for a visit from New Zealand -- we were so lucky that she was here for his birthday, and also that she made some tasty "lolly-cake" (I still don't think I truly understand what that stuff is...)



Since his party was such a big hit, I think I'll probably have to start planning for his #2 birthday next month.  I do believe we'll be hosting his next birthday party at the senior center/ insane asylum where I'll for sure be by this time next year.... 

Just in case you missed me.

I apologize for the withdrawal symptoms you all must be going through from me not updating the blog.
I'll buy you a diet coke for the side effects.

I have a story:

I have a hilarious younger sister, Andie.  She, being the youngest of 7 girls, is destined to grow up with all sorts of issues.  But she sure is cute.  (Is it just me or does she look like me much?)

When she was 2, Evelyn and I trained her to pick up the phone by saying "I'm dead sexy".

When she was 3, she watched Jurassic Park every night before bed with my dad.

When she was 4, she learned how to do Tai-Chi (I don't know where... no one taught her, just something she picked up) and we exploited her in front of everyone that came over.

When she was 5, her favorite color was black and she was obsessed with witches.


At some point in her early childhood, Andie won the award for the Queen of DRAMA. (psssh, she did NOT get that from me...)  I remember her having to do her Saturday jobs once when she was little.  Her Saturday jobs consisted of things like "write a happy note to your sister" or "fluff the pillows on the couch".  Nothing like the jobs I had when I was a kid.  Spoiled much?  She was complaining that her jobs were toooo hard and she didn't want to do them.  She began unconsolably crying, and suddenly clutched her chest.  "I'm having a HARD-attack" -- she said.

She still is that funny.  And dramatic.

Anyway, this story has two morals:

One -- I think I have had like 8 "hard"-attacks in the last two weeks.  Can someone throw me a bone here?  Whine.

Moral two:  I took thought of this story after taking photos of my A-Dor-A-Ble Son last week for his birfday invitation.  And then I died of a heart-attack.  My child is too good looking.  And I'm not even just saying that. (I hope you got the connection there... that's the way my brain works)

All of my posts revolve around my son.  Just in case you didn't know.

Wheee!

My blog is the most neglected blog on the planet.

Funny -- my house is also the most neglected house on the planet.  As is my pantry, my laundry, and especially Josh.  Just putting that out there.

Moving on -- we had a wonderful Labor Day celebrating Erica's birthday with my family!  Carter and Weston had too much fun on the swings.  Oh, I love those boys.  Have I mentioned that Carter and Weston are best friends?  Because they are.  I am so lucky to have a sister so close (EV PLEASE DON'T EVER MOVE!) with a little boy Weston's age so they can grow up together.  Yeah, that was gushy.  Don't judge, I'm in a sentimental mood!

But now it's your turn to gush -- about how seriously adorable these kids are!  They don't make 'em any better than this!