Sunday, October 18, 2009


My Guinness Book of World Records Entry:


Yes, I am quite possibly the world's largest pregnant woman alive. No, we are sure it's not twins. He may have had a twin at one point, which he swallowed, and is now a giant toddler growing inside of me. He may or may not have a full set of teeth and chest hair when (if) he comes out.

Besides the normal reasons of being excited to have a baby -- can't wait to cuddle him, smell his baby-ness, fall absolutely in love with him in every way possible, and more ooey gooey mush, I have a few personal and selfish agendas to having this baby OUT. They are as follows:

-- I can't wait to only have one chin. Actually, I'd settle for two chins. But this five chin thing (I may have 6 by next week) has GOT to stop. It's embarrassing.

-- Sausages for toes and cankles are OUT this season -- it's time I had some normal size feet that can fit into heels.

-- Not that I ever really enjoyed painting my own toenails (that's what little sisters are for!) I can't wait to reach them with ease, without grunting.

-- I am a stomach and a back sleeper. How I miss that dreadfully. And even if I'm actually missing out on the whole sleep part, I really can't wait to at least lie on my stomach for a full 10 minutes.

-- Pants with zippers and button flies. Need I say more.

-- I can't wait to JUMP again. A few months ago I attempted an 'agile' move from a boat to the dock... it did not go so well. Somehow my body didn't go up in the air as planned -- it was more of a trip over the side of the boat into the water. I think when he is out I will call on my childhood roots and attempt to get from one room in the house to the other without touching the floor and only jumping from one piece of furniture to the next (I know you all did it when you were young too, no judging!!!)

-- Oh blessed waistline, I hope you are still there waiting for me somewhere... As well as my belly button.

-- Not that I don't enjoy falling out of my bed every morning on purpose, it will be nice to just sit straight up and daintily/gracefully put my feet over the edge and get out like a normal person. As giant whale-sized as I am, I am surprised I haven't crashed through the floor with my attempted 'acrobats' at escaping the bed. Not to mention the plethora of pillows I surround myself with just to get comfortable!!! I am sure Josh will enjoy having more than 1/10th of the bed as well.

So with that said, I will be holding my breath until Josh Jr. comes out. I wish it would be tonight.

9 comments:

Miss Heather said...

I think you look adorable!! I'm so excited for you to have your little cutie! What hospital will you be at? :)

{mike.amanda} said...

oh! it is SO strange how you have a baby... and most of that is just... back! pregnancy is like an instant distant memory! the first night i just laid on my back and curled into a ball- it felt AMAZING to bend the OTHER WAY! love it. i'm so glad you've posted- i was wondering how you were doing! soon, you'll look down and magically see a body... well, you'll see a giggly blob of a belly and a strange "belly button" (NOT WHAT I HAD BEFORE, i assure you)! it's so fun to stare at this baby that was squished inside you. amazing!

OH, one more thing and i'll shutup. we were in vegas while i was quite large, and i attempted to "jump" up on the wall where i could sit and watch the bellagio water show. who thought that was a good idea? mike was going to "assist" in hoisting me, but really he just looked at me attempt a huge jump and he died laughing. maybe i burst into tears i was so shocked, mortified, and confused as to how that much energy didn't even get me off the ground. traumatic.
oh, pregnancy, where have you gone? :)

Laura said...

I'm sorry, but you're going to have to gain about 400 more pounds to keep up with me. :0) You are not a huge pregnant lady, just a cute skinny girl with a pregnant belly! Good luck talking him into coming out of there soon!

Cami Jo said...

Becca...YOU LOOK SO ADORABLE! I can't wait for you to have your lil baby =) I am beginning to see what you meant by your post by...sleeping, double chins...etc, not fun! I wish you a smooth delivery and I hope it is soon!! Your lil angel is just waiting to come down from heaven..that is so precious!!

Kristen Archer said...

I think you are adorable! I can't wait to meet the little man! You had better call me soon and let me know where you'll be and all that jazz! Love you!

Jaci said...

you are so dang cute! Becca, this little boy is going to have so much fun with you! i love your sense of humor. it will come in handy when the lil' one is being sneaky and you need to laugh things off. You are going to be a great mom! I hope the last hoorah of your pregnancy treats you well! congrats already! I'm so happy for you!
Jaci

Whitney said...

You are the cutest pregnant neighbor that I have.

Seth and Brittney said...

So I have a few things to say...
1) you look absolutely beautiful! Seriously. Especially for being less than a month out!
2) I totally remember feeling incredibly self-conscious about my size toward the end too. I thought everyone could notice my swollen, bloated, awkwardness... but I don't think they did actually. But feeling that way is totally normal. I definitely did NOT feel like a pretty pregnant girl.
3) if you really think you are bigger than you're supposed to be, it could be the tilt of your uterus...weird I know. The OB at one of my first appointments told me mine was a bit tilted and so I tended to look "small". Other friends of mine have said theirs tilts the other way, making them look and measure a bit bigger than average. AND boys usually make the momma look bigger too.
Honestly, I do think you look fabulous! Towards the end you are supposed to look exactly how you do. All the swelling does thankfully go down postpartum, but the fatigue surprisingly does not... it's way worse after the baby arrives. But as many people tell you that you will still just want the baby to come (I remember thinking that!). But babies are incredibly physically exhausting. Sheesh. But a week after Shaely was born and I spun around in the car to look behind me I literally shouted hooray! I was mobile again!
This was long, but I HAD to say it! Keep going sister, you can do it!

Sara said...

Becca once again you gave me a good laugh while reading your post. You are too funny. And too beautiful! You look gorgeous, that is a great picture of you. I can't wait for you to have the baby and realize how great you will feel again! Not only did I now have a beautiful baby, but I walked out of the hospital feeling like a sexy momma! Even if I did look like I had bread dough for a stomach and my face was still swollen, and I still kind of waddled from pushing a baby out of my....ahem, well you know. I felt AWESOME!!!! And I was so excited to be able to sleep on my stomach again....little did I know that I would never actually SLEEP again once the baby came. Sigh! Life is full of predicaments. Anyways, I love you and am so excited for the little Mister to get here!