Saturday, October 18, 2008

Happy Birthday To You...



This post is just a little late -- so what, I've been too busy to blog at home and upload pictures of this old man who also happens to be my husband. Ah, where do the years go?

Josh turned the big 2-7 on the 5th of October (which, f.y.i., is apparently the most common birthday in the world, who knew?) My parents and all the "illegal" sisters (that means anyone under 18, not illegal aliens, sheesh) came down to watch conference with us, and my mom made delicious lasagna for lunch/dinner. Next, the main food event: Josh's football birthday cake! I have been forced to cross off cake-decorating from my resume, because I am an awful cake decorator. It was a mess. But it was delicious and Josh gave me three points for cleverness.


Moving on -- I thought Josh's birthday post would be an excellent time to incorporate a tag I received from Sara. Many of you may not know my husband very well, so here are some funny quirks about him:
MY JOSH:


1. He will not wear shirts without a collar. True. He thinks he has a long giraffe neck, and will not wear a plain t-shirt. Who knew someone could be self concious about a NECK? Also, he has at least 10 blue polos. I think they are all the same color. He assures me they are completely different shades. If you think Josh keeps wearing the same shirt over and over again, he really doesn't. There are just 10 of them.

2. Josh will not swim in public pools -- for fear of floating poo (or "brown trout" as it is so affectionately called, sorry I know that is gross). Not even dip his toe in. Last summer when that whole crypto-thing came out Josh wore his "I told you so" face for at least 3 months. Along with his fear of public places -- his hatred for Disneyland. We went there on our honeymoon before our cruise and apparently his experience was so bad he will never return -- maybe he felt like he was babysitting the whole time, as I LOVE disneyland and was running and squealing everywhere? I actually forced him into going once after and he and his friend Jake literally whined the whole time... Really, he hates most public places, he's all phobic weird.

3. Josh is Uncle Sam? I have never met someone more patriotic! He really gets after me about my civic duties as a citizen-- yes I am voting next month --, wears his American flag tie on a regular basis and absolutely LOVES the 4th of July! Apparently we are naming all of our unborn children after Ulysses S. Grant -- as he is Josh's all-time hero (and to prove it, he bought a giant photo of him to hang in our house... ugh...)

4. Josh wears flip-flops at least 9 of the 12 months a year. He does not like shoes. To match his polos, he also has approximately 10 pair of the same flip-flop. I suspect he wears them to show off his freakishly long toes --he says they are his Polynesian heritage, made for walking in the sand-- even if it is 30 degrees outside. The only times he does not wear flip-flops is if it is raining or snowing heavily.

5. Another one of Josh's all-time heroes: Santa Claus. I must have had a bad experience as a child that I have blocked out of my memory because I find real-looking Santas creepy. Josh, however, is nuts about Christmas and Santa, cannot get enough of real-looking Santas, and even wishes we had a lifesize Santa decoration in our front entrance. (How creepy would that be? some fat bearded guy staring at me every time I come home?) We fight about this every year-- Santa vs. Snowmen. Josh insists that we send out Christmas Cards that look like this:





Hence, this is why no one gets Christmas cards from us, gross.

6. Josh watches cartoons every day. But not any cartoons, just old, "classic" cartoons. I wake up in the morning and turn on the TV to watch the local news (I should be informed says Josh) and it is always on some Cartoon channel -- apparently this is what he watches before he goes to bed. Our DVR is full of X-Men and Scooby-Doo re-runs. Every Christmas Eve (again, he really, really loves Christmas) we watch Yogi Bear's First Christmas and every October we start watching Scooby Doo Halloween specials. He may have just turned 7 and I mistakenly added a 2 in front of it? Oh, and also, he owns at least 10 Justice League action figures. And yes, we play with them.


7. I don't really know if this is a quirk, but it is something that cracks me up -- there is something about Josh that makes him incredibly attractive to other men. At any given time there are at least 3 guys out to make Josh their boyfriend. Several years ago some guy asked Josh to move in with him (the "perk" this guy used -- I have a shower for two!) Josh gets pretty uncomfortable when guys wink at him or make a go for his back side, but man, I crack up every time! Apparently, Josh is "pretty".


8. Josh talks in his sleep. And he is hi-larious (that is also one of Josh's things -- hi-larious is said just like that, with a pause in between the hi- and the -larious). My still all-time favorite, is when he told me so matter-of-fact-ly that aliens are more afraid of us than we are of them. Most of the time his sleep-talking comes with complimentary hand gestures.




I really lucked out. Josh also reminds me of that every day. How in the world did I end up with him? However it happened, it sure is entertaining every day! And for any of you who haven't had the chance to experience Josh in the full-extent of his funniness, COME ON OVER! If it's my cooking that scares you away, we'll order pizza.


11 comments:

JO said...

you are hilarious. I loved reading all the interesting facts about josh. your cake looks great--i give you 10 points!

Andrew/Drewski said...

You are hi-larious! You should be a writer; newspaper, novel, short story...whatever. You're very good at putting your thoughts down on paper (or webpage).

The Atkinsons said...

I agree with Andrew and Jolynne you are too funny, your post always crack me up, that's why you should post more. AND I also give you a 10 for your mad cake decoratng skills. You're like the next Betty Crocker!

Peggy said...

Okay, don't judge! I thought I was the only person in the WORLD who LOVES Yogi Bear's First Christmas!! (Well, I've conditioned Jack to love it--we watch it all year round!!)

Som and Sot said...

Happy Late Birthday Josh!

So I have something in common with Josh. I too watch cartoons before I go to sleep! I somehow always sleep better and have better dreams if I watch cartoons before bed.

Som also has something in common with Josh. Men tend to like him too. We were at Harry O's for a concert one time and this guy told Som that he wanted him to model his new clothing line. I was like honey, didn't you notice that guy was pretty flaming? He was probably hitting on you!

Miss Heather said...

He has some awesome quirks!! (And Michael has 10 black polos... and really, there's only one shade of black... so he's the same in that regard!)

Coming from a cake decorator, I LOVED your football cake! It was awesome! I don't know why you think it was a mess!

We watch cartoons... but it's always Family Guy or American Dad or the Simpsons... I think it's cute he likes the classic ones. :)

And I wear flip-flops ALL year long... so at least he's smart in the snow... unlike me...

Evelyn said...

Is Josh's fear of pool pooing because he IS the pool pooer? I think so.
You forgot to mention the quirk how it's Josh's sole life purpose to set the record for freak emergency room visits. You must be losing your memory (in your old age).

Sarah said...

Happy belated birthday to Josh, and your cake looks totally awesome! Put decorating back on your resume for sure!!

JO said...

Do me a favor? Check out my blog, post about it, and add me to your link list.I'm trying to spread the word! Thanks

Kristen Archer said...

I give you multiple points for your effort and creativity. Also, I am so amazed at all the things our husbands have in common. Dave is SUPER patriotic. I am patriotic and all, but he goes all out. We got a flag for our wedding and it was his favorite gift. Also, he has probably 10 blue polos. As well, he is in love with Christmas and Santa. I was laughing when Steve was talking crap about Santa because Dave would have been all over that! Interesting, apparently we HAVE to be friends....

{Mike + Amanda} said...

oh my gosh, those are SO funny!